Guest Post: Re-embracing Motherhood

Guest Post: Re embracing MotherhoodWe are happy to share a guest post from one of our Faith & Family Bloggers, Cindy Dudas from Whatever Works. Cindy shares how she finds herself re-embracing motherhood. 

One of the things I’ve learned while dabbling in the social media field is that people like to read statisics.  Well, here’s one for ya: I’ve been a mom for more than 1/4 of my entire life.

For the past 10 of my 39 years here on this earth, I’ve spent a lot of time changing diapers, fixing lunches, arguing the importance of completing the before-school ritual prior to playing video games, making beds (ok, not really so much on the “making beds” part because I do hold to that theory that Hey, you’re just going to get back in it in a couple hours so why make it), BUT I digress…

Bottom line: I’m a mom.

Out of those 10 years ( minus time spent completing all the motherly tasks and sometimes sleeping), I think I have spent the majority of my time playing with my kids.  After about year 8, I got tired of it.

Yes, you read that right.  I didn’t want to play anymore.

I got tired of Candyland.  I didn’t want to make forts.  I completely stopped enjoying the swing set.

I just wanted to sit back and observe.

I started to get annoyed when my kids would ask me to join them in every single thing they did.

No, I don’t want to ride bikes.

No, I don’t want to jump in the sprinklers.

No, I don’t want to play.

Then one day I heard myself say that out loud.  And it sounded so incredibly horrible that I wanted to jump out a window.  I felt like Mommy Dearest.  What was wrong with me?  Why couldn’t I just play?

All I could think of was the catch phrase “Seven Year Itch”, but in my case it was about motherhood.  At the same time my kids craved my attention, I craved to go off to foreign lands…like any store other than Target, Justice or Five Below.  My kids wanted another teammate for a pick up game of tag, and I wanted to sit in the sun.  I wanted quiet.

Was I becoming a horrible person?  Was I really done with all the fun of motherhood?  Did I give up on my kids?

No.  To all of that self-depricating talk. . .  Just no.

When I was playing all the time and not enjoying it, I was feeling down on myself.  I wasn’t really playing; I was fake playing.  And how is that good for anyone?  The kids might have an extra body to complete their basketball team, but that’s it.  I wasn’t teaching them anything.  I wasn’t smiling.  I was actually quite childish when I forced myself into their games.  I’m not proud of it by any means.

I felt very selfish about wanting to be alone for a while.  But I realize that I must have needed it.  In some way, God was telling me to step back and reevaluate the situation.

So I said no when my kids asked me to race them in MarioKart.  I declined their invitation to a dance party.  I chose to talk with my friend on the bench instead of climbing the equipment at the playground.

I needed to show my kids that I am a person outside of being Mom.  They needed to see me doing things that I like.   And to be honest, I needed to remind myself what activities and things I actually do like!

As weird as it may sound, it made me feel strong again. Once I re-embraced my own self, I was able to re-embrace motherhood, too.  Now I feel like I can do anything.

…Even play a game of Monopoly all the way through.

 

Guest Post: Re embracing MotherhoodMeet Cindy

Cindy Dudas is a work-at-home mom who started blogging as a way to get her feelings out there.  She is a freelance writer currently writing for the Parental Guidance section of NJ.com and her own blogs Whatever Works and What the heck’s a bonbon?  

Follow Cindy on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram.